Who let the dogs out?!

Well today one of my best friends took off to Florida for the week.  He has family down there, so him taking this trip is pretty normal.  Usually he goes anywhere from 4-10 times a year.  When he is gone, I take care of his cat, grab the mail, etc. Typical house sitting chores.  So of course, he is taking off and I agreed to do this for him again.  Except one thing is different this time; he got a puppy about a month ago.   

I should have said "No can do, I'm leaving town too."

But I'm not, so I didn't.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!

I am extremely nervous about this.  A puppy?  Now he is about 18 weeks old, and he is pretty much potty trained and what not, but I have no real experience with dogs or puppies whatsoever.

 

I don't have any pets right now.

When I was growing up, we had a golden lab that was my Aunt's that we took care of for about 2 years. I was about 7.  I didn't take care of the dog.

Other than that, my mother never wanted to have pets.  The extent of having pets was fish, and I was okay with that.  I love fish.  Why not?  They swim in a tank; they're not loud.  They don't shed.  You feed them and when or if necessary, you clean their tank.  One dies, you buy another.  You get it.  I love having fish.

So this is why I am freaking out.  

I am the girl that gets nervous when dogs jump on her because I am afraid that they are going to attack me, bite me, scratch one of my eyes out, or knock me over.  Dogs usually "sense" that I am scared of them or something and so they tend to keep jumping on me and make my life a paranoid hell when I am around them.  Okay I know I  sound crazy, but I can't help it.  They scare me.

Now I also have several other thoughts going through my mind while he is gone:

What if he gets loose and I can't catch him?

What if he gets sick?

What if I can't get there on time and he has an accident in the house?

What if he rips something, like furniture, to shreds?

What if he goes crazy and rips me to shreds?!?!

What if I don't go and take care of him enough times a day?

How long am I supposed to stay and "play" with the puppy?

Do I take him for walks?

I could go on and on, but I'll just stop right there.

He gave me the basic information and I am sure I will call him at least once while he is gone with some sort of question strictly pertaining to the puppy.

I'm just praying this is going to go well and I have no problems with the puppy while he is gone!  This week seriously can't go by FAST ENOUGH!!

hahahahaha!!  Remember this song?  

Who Let the Dogs Out? - Baha Men

Shut up

That guy.  I think you've all met him.  You could have met him anywhere.  

He is attractive.  He has a great smile.  He dresses nicely and presents himself well.  From a distance.  You make eye contact.  

He approaches you or you approach him.  He is still smiling.  His eyes are gorgeous.  He smells good.  

You get the point.

And then?  He opens his mouth and starts talking.

The thing is, you wish he never even started talking after about a minute or two.

Sound familiar?

I had this experience once again while I was at school.  Jeez.  AGAIN?! Now, everyone has different things that intrigue them and certain things that turn you on or off.  By no means would I even consider myself picky or say that I have a "specific type" of guy that I'm looking for.  Let me tell you though, he was NOT IT.

Well...he was going on and on about himself, from what he liked to drink to his birthdate and his entire life story.  Where he lived, his past two jobs, his favorite food, the sports he played when he was younger, etc.  There was absolutely nothing left to even imagine or question.  While he was talking, he would keep eye contact, but taking frequent moments to stare at his reflection in the window.  He was also trying to convince me he had some supernatural powers like those of a superhero.  What?  This was all in a matter of about 7 or 8 minutes.  I can't even believe I let the one-sided conversation go on that long.  I found the entire experience quite annoying, actually.  

It was one of those instances that is the perfect example of why looks don't matter.  

  I wanted to shove crumpled up paper in his mouth. Anything.  Hit him in the head with my textbook.  Something to get him to just turn off and shut up.  He wanted my number.  

He must have been crazy if he thought this was going well.  

At this point, I had given every indication that I was completely not interested besides actually coming out and saying, "I'm not interested."  Obviously, I declined to give him my number.  I had enough; I just turned around and continued doing my work.  Ugh.  Why does this always happen?! 

I don't like to waste my time, and that's exactly how this conversation felt, Like a waste of time.  Does this happen to anyone else?

Shut Up - The Black Eyed Peas

A Change Would Do You Good..

School.  What can I say?  It has been going great, and almost even better than I had actually anticipated.  I'm very interested in everything I've been learning and even the things I'm not so interested in learning, I still find myself paying attention and just trying to get my work done.  Now I know for sure that transferring schools and resuming my education was a great choice at this point in my life.  Everything can only go up and up from here.  I'm starting to find my way back to being the happier version of me that I used to know.

Which brings me to my next point.

In my past, I never took school as seriously as I should have.  I remember going to college with the "I don't really care, why am I here anyway?" attitude.  I went to class when I felt like it, partied and went out until all hours of the night and day, and just flat out didn't care.  If I was in a bad mood, if it was raining, if I was hungover; I didn't go to class.  You name it, it was probably one of the reasons I gave for slacking off.

 

 Never once did I think about the money involved, the time wasted, or how rewarding it would actually be to finish my education.  I'm pretty sure it was the time in between leaving school and going back that I got the wake up call I needed.  I partied.  I had part-time jobs.  I had a serious full-time job.  I didn't have a job at all.  I drank.  A lot. 

I watched people around me either completely hit rock bottom, lose their way, and stop caring about everyone and everything. 

On the flip side, I saw people have more success than I could have ever imagined possible, with their education, jobs, homes, kids, etc.

Well, I got over the bullshit.  I got over the excessive amount of time I spent worrying about my social life and other people.  I got out of relationships that were bad for me.  It clearly wasn't getting me anywhere.  Even though I tend to take the longer path to do things, significantly mess up, and learn things the hard way, I do believe everything happens for a reason and I am where I'm supposed to be now in my life.

Sitting in some of my classes, I do have those classmates that remind me of myself years ago.  They don't take it seriously.  They're spending class time talking to the person next to them, texting, surfing facebook, or even leaving the classroom several times to answer phone calls for 10 or more minutes at a time, if they even show up for class at all.

Its also interesting to hear some of the conversations they're having, such as  "I'm not going to do the work for this assignment" or "I'm still going to pass this class if I never come," and "I'm so bored why am I here?"  This of course is only a small example of the things I've witnessed.

Like I said, it reminds me of myself in my past when I didn't know how valuable or important my classes and degree were.  Its almost amazing to see people who remind you of the person you used to be, and didn't even realize the mistakes you were making or about to make.

Sometimes people aren't ready to come to college right after high school and I get that.  If I had thought about it or known then what I know now, I would have certainly taken at least a year off right out of high school.  It makes me want to share my mistakes with people.  I'm fortunate that I was given another opportunity to come back to school and try this again.  Not everyone is that fortunate or granted another chance to succeed.  I guess I just want to tell them not to take the opportunity to obtain their education for granted.

A Change Would Do You Good - Sheryl Crow

Take It to the House

So as I've been telling you, I was highly anticipating the start of this school semester.  Well it was Thursday, and it went so well!!!  All of my professors are great so far from what I can tell.  They're all really nice and they actually seem like they want to get to know you and help you succeed.  It was such a welcoming feeling!  Although it is somewhat a long day, I really don't mind it.  I have an extremely great feeling about this semester, and hopefully I'm right!  Also: I'm still waiting to hear back about the scholarship I applied for.  I'm thinking I should hear something about it this week, so until then, I'll just keep my fingers crossed!

Overall Thursday was a great day.  After I got out of class I headed over to Uno's to meet some friends and watch the first game of this football season.  Of course I was already going insane because football is officially starting, but I was also ecstatic because Dave Matthews played a few songs to open up the game!  

I've got to tell you - I have quite a few friends that work at Uno's and as many times as I have been in there, I have actually never eaten one of the deep dish Chicago style pizzas.  Crazy right?!  I'm still a sucker for a good ol' New York Style slice of pizza, but I can't complain.  It was pretty good!  They also have this dip there called Shrimp and Crap Fun-Doo, which was excellent!  If you go to Uno's and you like seafood, I suggest you try that as an appetizer.  

Well this is kind of all over the place, but I didn't have too much to say.  Now that fall is coming into full swing, I'll try and be more creative and hopefully I'll have more to write about.

OH WAIT. 

I think that the Eagles management should take turns kicking each other in the balls.  They should have never traded Donovan McNabb.  He is still a great ball player and he's going to get his.  They shouldn't have even bothered with Kolb.  He gets shook and certainly freaks out when the defense blitzed.  Once he got his little concussion, Vick came in and turned things up.  Even though they lost, they still gave Green Bay a run for their money.  I hope the Eagles think long and hard about their quarterback position and who should truly be starting.  Just my opinion.

And - The icing on the cake to a great weekend?!  The Redskins beat the Cowboys!! That totally 100% made my day.  The Redskins were winning the entire game and just had to hold and and make sure the Cowboys didn't score.  Thank you, #71, Barron, for your fantastic display of offensive holding.  No touchdown, GAME OVER.

  


Take It to the House - Trick Daddy

(Untitled) just a rant....

As corny as this may sound to some of you out there, tomorrow is the day.  It's finally here!  I start my first semester at my new college, and I am absolutely pumped!  The first day of school seems to always be interesting; it is filled with a little bit of nerves, curiosity, some familiar faces at times, and definitely plenty of coffee and cigarettes.  (I know terrible, buts it's who I am...don't judge.)  I'm really excited to get back into school so I can be productive and work toward something great!  I also applied for a scholarship so I am just keeping my fingers crossed that I am one of the people it is awarded to.  Otherwise, I'm still going to keep looking and see if I can find more of them.

Another cool thing?  I found out that Dave Matthews is doing a fall tour, which is great because I only saw him once this summer at Darien Lake.  I know that my money situation is terrible right now, but if the opportunity presents itself to me to go to one of the shows, I'm totally there.  He's officially announced that they are taking 2011 off from touring, so if I don't take this last opportunity in 2010, then I won't see another Dave show until 2012!  Right now this is definitely wishful thinking, so we'll see how this works out...

I don't have much to say today.  That could be a good or bad thing because I'm usually bitching about something, or expressing my opinion in some way, shape or form.  Sometimes its nice to not have much on your mind, which hardly ever happens for me :-)

I miss my....DOOR?!

So I woke up this morning, and felt the need to talk about something I have quite obviously taken for granted.  

A bedroom door.  Yes, I said a Bedroom door.  

 

I am still currently living at home.  The original bedroom I lived in had a door, but for some reason wouldn't close all the way.  It always stayed slightly cracked open. I was okay with that.  I got used to that.  At least I still had a door.  People could knock before they entered.  You get the point.

Well, I had to leave that wonderful room after we had received endless amounts of rain and my room flooded.  I wasn't going to deal with that again in the chance that more of my belongings were going to get ruined if it happened again.  So I moved into a room upstairs that used to be a home office.  This is not a typical room.  Yes I have a lot of my own belongings in there and definitely my bed, but a lot of my dad's things are in there from his home office.  Okay I've gotten used to that too.  Anyway, back to the main problem:  

This room does NOT have a door at all.

 The first day or two I was in there, I would dress in the bathroom.  That was short lived.  I dug out one of my tapestries and hung it in the doorway.  At least I could change in my own room and even have a little bit of privacy.  Or so I thought.  You can't knock on a tapestry.  My family members will constantly lift back the curtain and look in my room to "see what I am doing."  Well nothing major, but what I am usually doing is getting dressed, changing, having a personal conversation, or sleeping. 

But where is the privacy?!  Gone I tell you, GONE.  I shouldn't have to worry that I am going to get walked in on completely naked, or have people wanting to inquire about what I was talking about on the phone simply because they knew I was on it. 

There are plenty of times when I wake up and people are in my doorway.  It is weird.  Yes they are family members, but it still creeps me out when people are staring at me while I sleep.  All I want is a little more privacy.  I never thought I would find myself missing a door so much AND writing about it, but it has happened.  I miss having a door and I want one back! 

Since You've Been Gone...

So I find myself sitting here tonight and ((once again)) thinking about past relationships.  I'm not really sure if I think about them because I am constantly reminded of them, or because they are subconsciously always on my mind and I don't realize it.  Now that I have had enough time away from this last relationship, I have gained more perspective on it than I had before.  I think writing about it will give me that last breath of fresh air I have been waiting for. 

Don't get me wrong - I know for a fact (now) that we were completely and 100% wrong for each other.  Honestly, I think our connection came through music. And beer.  He played the guitar and sang, and I sang as well, although my fear for singing in front of people kept me from actually singing for a crowd or on a stage.  We also loved planning and going to shows together, and I went to all of his gigs as well.  

 

Football and Syracuse basketball was also important.  And the beer.  We could sit up and drink together all night, drink for drink, until the sun came back up.  Wow.  Then spend the day laying in bed sleeping and watching movies until we absolutely had to get up.  Wow.

Other than that, I don't think we had too many things in common.  That's fine.  In the beginning it never seemed that way.  We could talk to each other and had an easy time getting to know each other.  Typical. 

As the relationship progressed, I began to notice that he was using me and couldn't give two shits about anyone except for himself.  At least it seemed that way, and as far as I'm concerned, if it seemed that way, it really was that way. (It really was, and I was too blind to walk away.)

A little background information for you:  

I had a job that I hated, but I made a fantastic amount of money.  As a result, I paid for everything.  I had more money than I knew what to do with, so I guess I didn't mind.  If I wanted to go out and have a good time, him and my closet few friends always had a good time too.  My bad. 

It got to the point where I realized that my generosity was getting taken advantage of.  He was less invested in getting to know me, or spending time with me, and more interested in what I could do for him.  

Will you buy me this?  

Will you clean my house?  

Will you rub my back?  

Will you help me pack my car for this gig?

Can you buy me cigarettes?

Can I "borrow" 50 bucks? ...and so on and so forth.

I found this INCREDIBLY annoying.  If this had been any normal give and take sort of relationship, I would not have minded doing these things.  However, if I would have asked him to do me any favors (besides favors that benefited him like bringing me home, taking me to the bank, or picking up dinner) hell must have been freezing over.  It was convenient for him to keep me in his life on the regular and I stuck around because for some reason, I still cared about him.  SCREW THAT.  

Well soon later, I no longer had my job.  Money was running low.  We were fighting all the time.  I was annoyed.  I was heartbroken.  I was confused.  I was extremely upset.  I couldn't understand how it got to that point.  How could I let myself get taken advantage of and get walked all over like this?  It was more than obvious it had to end.  I stopped answering his calls.  I stopped calling him.  We have a lot of the same friends, and it got to the point where I stopped going out just because I merely did not want to see him.  

Out of sight, out of mind...right?  RIGHT?!

Since then, I've seen him, obviously.  As I said before we have a lot of the same friends.  Its amazing how differently you can see someone once you've taken a step back and actually looked at the situation.  Although I feel like part of this is my fault because I didn't realize he was an extremely selfish person and was using me, I could have never seen that coming because it was not the person I met.  I should have never let it go on as long as it did.  I would never be able to look at him with the light I had in my eyes during the first year we had met.  When I see him now, I have a hard time even looking at him.  Speaking to each other doesn't go much further than saying hello and goodbye.  

It disgusts me to even think that you could treat a person like they don't matter.  Now that I am out of the picture, it is obvious to me when he is using other people and taking them for granted, and it is sad.  When do people like this learn their lesson?  I wish I wouldn't have been blind for so long.  Am I supposed to say better late than never?  Because I'm not going to dwell on this.

Oh well, once again, I lived and I learned.  He was selfish, and I was stupid.  All I can do now is make sure I never get myself involved in a situation like that again. 

With that being said: I leave you with this video by one of my favorite female singers...who else?  Kelly Clarkson!  This song is perfect for this situation :-)

 Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Me, Myself, and I

So I've quickly gotten over the blues from not being able to attend moe.down this year.  Oh well, I'll go next year.  Okay, well as this week is getting ready to begin, a lot of things seem like they are starting to take shape. (Let's hope, anyway!!) It seems like there is a trend in my life where everything either falls apart at the same time, or everything gets put back together at the same time.  That's fine, but now I look forward to everything getting better again, ultimately leading to my long term goals.  It's been getting a lot easier to focus mostly on myself and take care of what is best for me first and foremost above anything else. 

School starts on Thursday and I can't wait.  I've never said that in my life before, and I'm really excited to be in this position.  No more messing around.  No more going to bars instead of going to class, and no more not waking up for class because I'm too hung over to even realize what time it is.  Been there, done that.  Although I learned some "valuable life lessons," I wasted a lot of time and money screwing around and not taking my education seriously.  

I finally know what I want to do with my life and can clearly see the path I want my career and professional life to go down.  Sweet.  Also, I'm pretty sure I'm so freaking bored sitting around day in and day out living this boring routine I've created for myself.  I need to keep myself busy, and I think being in school is going to be the best distraction from all of the other humdrum and trivial things going on in my life. 

As far as a part time job, it is at the point where I just need some money coming in to take care of some of the basic essentials in life.  It looks like I may be going back to the grocery store I worked at in high school.  No big deal.  I can honestly say it was one of the funnest times in my life, and since I left on good terms it shouldn't be a problem getting back in.  I'm going to know more about that tomorrow hopefully.  It's obviously not a glamorous job or anything, but at least I'll be making some money again while I am trying to finish up school, and I'm comfortable there.  (and of course, like I said above, it will be another thing to keep me busy.)

I figure the busier the better.  The more I sit around and don't have anything productive to do, the more I think about things and tend to over analyze shit going on in my life, which is completely unnecessary.  At least I'm feeling confident that things are looking up.  Giving up isn't an option.  Keeping my priorities straight and being successful are the most important things in my life right now.  I want to make everything worth it, so we'll see how this goes!

Another WONDERFUL thing about this week?  FOOTBALL STARTS ON THURSDAY!!!  Let me say it again...FOOTBALL STARTS ON THURSDAY!!  I am an extremely avid football fan and can't wait to get this season started.  I also play fantasy football, which just makes the shit talking and overall atmosphere that much more intense!  Super!!  

It's going to be interesting to see what the teams do this year, especially my team, the Philadelphia Eagles since they traded my favorite, Donovan McNabb, over to the Washington Redskins.  No matter what, I'll always support that damn quarterback.  I wish him the best and hope he has a fantastic season!   I've never actually been to a game, so I'm really, really praying this year I can make that dream a reality.  :-)

Me, Myself, and I - Beyonce