Happy Birthday!

Okay, so I realized that I have a tough time keeping up and writing on here daily because I have absolutely nothing to talk about!  Lately I have been pretty reclusive, so that doesn't leave me much to talk about, other than bitching about the things I already know or had been going through before this random stage.  Well, my birthday was last Saturday and I definitely had a great time!  It was nice to leave the house and see a lot of my friends.  I always get a strange sort of anxiety when it is my birthday, but it really was fun and in all honesty, I had nothing to worry about!  

Paranoia in Bb Major

I must say...lately things have been really, really tough.  Everyone in my family and around me just seems stressed out to the max and miserable.  It makes me think back to a time when we were all happy, and makes me wonder how did we get here? When did this happen?  Are we going to get through this?  Will things ever be like they used to be?  At this point, I do have my doubts, but I've come to realize that having a pessimistic attitude certainly doesn't get me anywhere.  I have been trying to make the most of the good times I have been blessed with, and keep a positive attitude.  Although I think things are bad, I always try to remind myself that someone, somewhere else out there, definitely has it worse.   

I Want to Break Free

So I have been reading the book Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs for quite some time now. I love books by Burroughs and have read several of them. Last night while I was reading, I came across a part in the book that really got me thinking. It went like this:

"More than anything, I wanted to break free. But free from what? That was the problem. Because I didn't know what I wanted to break free from, I was stuck."

I put the book down and I really began to think about these lines. I was thinking, wow, this is exactly how I feel. I always feel stuck, and especially now that I am in between jobs, still struggling with exactly what I am majoring in at school, bad credit, and unfortunately still living at home. How do I get out of this rut? Why do I feel so stuck? With my 24th birthday around the corner in exactly 9 days, I realize that this is NOT where I want to be in life, nor is it where I ever imagined I'd be. I may feel stuck, but there are a few things I know for sure:

You Learn

Okay so it's official! I am definitely t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e at remembering to freakin' write on this thing. However, I am definitely going to try to get better at it again (even though I have made this promise before, I'm really going to try harder this time!!)

Anyway, it's been the same crap different day. Life seems to be somewhat of a struggle at this point: financial problems, no job currently, no health insurance, people constantly fighting, and plenty of stressed out people (including myself) all around. Blah, blah, blahhh you get it. I've definitely noticed this has been a pretty popular theme amongst people in America these days so I'm certainly not expecting anyone to cue the violins. It happens, and somehow, we're all just going day in and day out, trying to make things work as best as we can.