Help!

So , I've got nothing else to report on the family member previously mentioned.  It is clear it was a sibling, because now he has gone to a different city for school again.  I think at this point, a little bit of distance will be better for us so we don't have so many expectations of one another.  We actually get along better this way (at least for now) so I'm going to put this to rest.


I feel like I have been really down in the dumps lately.  Great timing.  I was hoping while I had this time off from school that I would find peace with myself and be more than ready for a strong start this coming semester.  Well, I was wrong.  Instead, I'm finding myself bored, unhappy, indecisive, lethargic, and extremely emotional for absolutely NO reason at all.  In reality, it actually seemed like school was letting me ignore the way I've been feeling.


I am finding that I would love nothing more than to have someone to talk to who actually listens, or suggest we do something besides going out to have a drink.  Drinking can be a fun time, but realistically, it doesn't solve problems like people think it does.  And it makes me gain weight, which is another issue I seem to be battling lately ever since I quit smoking two months ago.  Seriously, giving up cigarettes is hard enough, why does it have to come with such a shitty side effect?   


Anyway, back to those people.  I have friends and  I love my friends, but sometimes it feels like they only want to be there to join me through the good times and then leave me hanging when I feel like things are going wrong or I need someone to talk to.  I hate that.  Don't get me wrong - they're not all like that.  (I make this special exception for my Rican, because even though we live in different cities, she is there for more as much as she can be.)  I guess that goes to show why I've always believed that when all else fails, the only person I would have is myself.     


I know I'll bounce back (or I'm confident I will, anyway) but I guess at this point it is difficult for me to figure out where to start, or why I've been feeling like this in the first place.  I need to sort this out and pull it together, but I'm not sure sure I know where to begin...






Help! - The Beatles