Sometimes people just get busy and have a lot going on in their lives so they lose contact, but that's not what I'm talking about. That shit happens and people find their way back.
I understand that some people want to settle down with their significant other, and perhaps, start planning a future for a family and what not. But why do they completely eliminate their social lives? Whatever.
Then there are people who grow apart from their friends because their friends don't like the person they are dating and end up having conflict because of it. Not everyone can get along. Fine.
The one that really gets to me, is when significant others tell you that you can't be friends with, or hang out with certain people. I mean, what the hell is that?! I'd be damned if someone told me who I could and could not be friends with.
This leads me to another scenario: Is it inappropriate for exes to be friends after their relationship has ended?
It comes as no surprise to me that their new boyfriend or girlfriend may be a little bit jealous or insecure about what you and your ex may have shared in the past. So then they ask you to stop speaking with them because of their own insecurities and the thoughts constantly running through their mind. So in some cases, this request results in a huge fight and/or the relationship ending. Oh well, then I guess that relationship wasn't meant to be.
On the other hand, they may agree that they should not be friends with their ex, and respect their new boyfriend/girlfriend's wishes to end the friendship.
Well, what about the ones who "respect" their wishes, and then turn around and try to continue having a "secret friendship" with the person they aren't supposed to talk to? Of course, I bring this up because this has happened.
An ex of mine had contacted me and wanted to catch up. I saw no problem with this as we had known each other for 9 years and dated for an insignificant amount of time. As we began to share how we've been and what we were up to, he made a comment during the conversation stating that nobody could know that we were talking, including my friends.
UMMMMM. EFF THAT. I'm sorry, but I think that is just ridiculous. If you want to contact someone and then hide it from your significant other because it would clearly upset them, I find that inappropriate.
If you have to hide it, are you implying that you're doing something wrong?
Right then and there I wanted the conversation to be over. It has been nice to have no drama in my life whatsoever, and I didn't want to start. By continuing to speak to him, I got a feeling that it would somehow end up blowing up in my face, although there would be no skin off of my back. He would be the one in hot water, not me.
We had not spoke in over a year and I was completely okay with that. I am still okay with that. Why did he find it so important to get in contact with me again? Who knows. I just find people's actions to be inexplicable at times. Is it worth the risk to sneak around and contact old friends and exes at the expense of your relationship? Shouldn't you just be honest and be friends with who you want to be friends with, or should you have to pay a price?
Just a Friend - Biz Markie
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