So What?

I am BACK from West Virginia!  Not much to talk about there.  It was relaxing and a good time filled with friends, food, beer, cards, and football.  Fabulous. :-)

Anyway, sometimes I really hate when I have the feeling of missing someone,  especially when it is someone you feel like you really shouldn't miss.  I know I bring this topic up time and time again (and maybe too much) but it frequently crosses my mind.  

 

Lately, when I think of this person in particular (we'll just call him "Bobby") my mind instantly wanders to the good times, though far and few, that we had.  We pretty much did the same bullshit things everyday: go to shows, prepare for shows, drink, sleep in, work (I worked), lay in bed, etc.  Granted at that time in my life, everything seemed like so much fun.  

So in the middle of letting my brain wander into the past, something inside snapped.  I was driving home from school and had the radio on.  The Pink song, So What? was coming through the speakers.  One part in the middle really put me in check and let me know that walking away and completely removing myself from the situation with this "Bobby" guy was the best thing I could have done for myself.  The part I'm talking about went like this:

"You weren't there

You never were

You want it all

But that's not fair

I gave you life

I gave my all

You weren't there

You let me fall.."

EXACTLY!!  I'm so glad I heard that.  I needed a little reminder.  A reminder that he really didn't care.  That everything always revolved around him and his needs.  I gave 110% and if I was lucky, he may have given 10%.  He never listened to me or asked me about myself.  I'm sure he really didn't (and still doesn't) know much about me despite the 2 1/2 years we spent in each others lives.  How sad, really.  

It was also a reminder that I shouldn't settle for someone or lower my standards for a person who truly doesn't appreciate me for who I am.  That's exactly what I did, and I'm never going to do that again.  I'm glad I finally realize this; it was just the push over the edge that I needed to stop second guessing my decision and move on...

And of course, for your viewing and listening pleasure...  :-)

So What - P!nk